


Impossible love

by Melime



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: First Kiss, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutually Unrequited, Oblivious, Post-War of the Ring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29882496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: Although both Legolas and Gimli tried  not to think about their feelings for each other, believing them to be hopeless, their affection boiled over during a visit and finally a confession was made.
Relationships: Gimli (Son of Glóin)/Legolas Greenleaf
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Fandom Battle





	Impossible love

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [FFFC](https://fffc.dreamwidth.org/) 's 10 years fandom battle challenge.

It was a nice day. Warm, but not overly so, a nice smell in the air left after a midsummer storm, just a hint of the freshness the woods were recovering since being rid of the shadow of evil. A day to stroll around the woods in good company, to lay on wet grass and watch the clouds until the sky was filled with stars, to let lightness take your heart for a moment so that you may forget the horrors of the past. In essence, a day to be shared, if only he had someone to share it with.

Unfortunately, the someone he wanted to share most of his experiences with was often far away these days, as busy as Legolas himself was, making a new home for their respective peoples. He missed the days following the defeat of darkness, when they were free to travel together, although those days lasted far too little.

Since then, they had visited each other somewhat often, although not as often as he would have wished. He had only visited Gimli a pair of times in nearly as many years, as Gimli himself would soon arrive for his third visit.

Perhaps this was the reason why he was so focused on his longing now. The elves that accompanied him to the restoration of the woods had grown to be his close friends, and he enjoyed their company both as they worked and during their frequent fests and celebrations, the small events made mostly to increase their connection to nature. However, he still felt some kind of loneliness even when he was around them.

He never used to feel this way, but he also had never met someone whose company he enjoyed as much as he did Gimli’s. It was simply a misfortune that their commitments kept them apart for long periods, with no end in sight for those commitments.

By dawn he realized most of the day had wasted away and he hadn’t done almost anything, instead spending his time being lost in loneliness. He could hardly wait for Gimli to arrive on the following day, so he could enjoy his presence for at least a fortnight, even if that visit seemed too short.

-

The daylight was fading fast, and it was about time Gimli would usually set up camp, but he had been blessed with fair weather, and had been making good time, so his destiny couldn't be more than two or three miles away. At this point, setting up camp would be a waste, and his pony didn't seem too tired.

Legolas would only be waiting him by midday, but surely arriving early wouldn't be imposing on his friend, and it would give them a little more time together, which was something they sorely missed. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t want to arrive unannounced, but Legolas had always expressed he was welcome at any time even without forewarning, and Gimli extended him the same invitation.

"What do you say, shall we press on?" Gimli asked, petting his pony. Of course he didn’t receive an answer, since unlike some people he knew he couldn’t talk to his ride, but he had been traveling alone with no one to share in his good mood.

In truth, these days there were far fewer risks for traveling at night, especially for a seasoned warrior. Although not all evils went away with their master, the roads had not been so peaceful since before he was born.

Or perhaps he was simply looking for a way to explain his own actions that didn’t involve thinking about how much he missed Legolas. Before meeting him, Gimli never missed someone’s presence so fast after leaving them, and could always push away any longing by dedicating himself to his craft. If his mother knew that he had visited Legolas thrice as much as he had her since leaving for the council years ago, and that without counting the time he and Legolas traveled together or the times Legolas visited him, he would certainly receive a scolding.

He tried not to think about what that meant. If he had felt this way about another dwarf then maybe… but Legolas was an elf. By what Gimli had learned of them, they would be married early or not at all, with Arwen being such a rare exception many commented that the only explanation was that she and Aragorn were fated to be together, and besides, Legolas never gave him any indication... No, Legolas was his best friend, it was simply a matter of Gimli wanting to spend the rest of his life with him, and there was no need or use in thinking about that for any longer. What they had was enough for him.

He picked up the pace, knowing that soon his pony would have more than enough time to rest, and tried to tell himself it was just to make sure he would arrive before supper.

-

Once Legolas realized his thoughts refused to focus on anything besides Gimli’s impending visit, he decided to spend what was left of the time until they met making sure that everything would be ready for him. It wouldn’t do to make his friend feel unwelcome, especially when his visits were so rare.

He placed a second bed roll on his chambers, not right next to his, but not too far away either. The first time Gimli visited, there was no other place available, and they had kept that tradition since then. At any rate, Gimli claimed to feel nervous sleeping in the woods, and Legolas' presence made him at ease.

When Legolas went to visit him, he also stayed in Gimli's chambers, in an added extra bed, although his reasoning was that it was far too easy to get lost in the halls of stone, and that he didn’t enjoy being trapped in caves with no way of escaping. Of course he had grown underground as much as in the forest, but those were halls he knew well enough to navigate in his sleep, not unknown dwarven rock.

Besides, they had long traveled together, and so learned to sleep next to each other. It shouldn’t have to be different just because now they were in the cities of their peoples, and not alone in the wild.

Of course there was commentary about their relationship, and some considered it inappropriate, both because of the centuries of animosity between elves and dwarves and because, since neither was married, they were each other’s closest relationship. It wasn’t at all unlikely that an elf, or even a dwarf from what he understood of their society, would never marry, and that wouldn’t preclude them from cultivating deep friendships throughout their lives, so it seemed unfair that theirs was singled out simply for being between two rival peoples.

Just as he was finishing the adjustments to his chambers, he heard the alert whistling that indicated a permitted visitor. Legolas let go of everything that he was doing and climbed down from his chambers, rushing outside. He wasn’t expecting Gimli so soon, but no other visitors were expected, so it had to be him.

Legolas didn’t even try to contain his excitement as he saw Gimli, still on the road. He jumped from a tree just to the side of him, delighting himself in the knowledge that despite his lack of effort to conceal himself and how often Gimli had traveled these woods, he would still be slightly startled. He would have jumped in front, if not for the risk of startling his ride as well, which Gimli would certainly dislike.

“Mellon nin, you’ve made good time,” he said before the other had a chance to react.

“You can almost convince me your kind has the power to sprout from trees with your stealth,” Gimli said, poorly disguising his startlement.

“As if your people can’t seem to raise out of stone in your own halls, familiarity is a powerful weapon.”

“I hope it’s not too imposing, but I’ve decided to press on in order to rest under a proper roof tonight, or what passes for it among you woodland creatures,” he teased.

“Your presence is never an imposition, as you know very well. And your arrival is fortuitous as I've just finished setting up the arrangements for you. I have yet to eat supper so you must let me accompany you, I’m sure you’re hungry after travel rations.” Legolas was aware he made it seem like Gimli had spent long months on the road, instead of short days, but perhaps he was projecting due to how long it had been since they law saw each other, nearly four months before.

“I’ll have you know that dwarves have the best quality of travel rations, but it would be rude to refuse a kind request from my host,” Gimli said, unmounting to walk next to him.

As soon as he hit the ground, Legolas bent down and hugged him as tight as he could, although the excessive armor poked him in uncomfortable places. How Gimli could walk in all of that, let alone move with the agility and grace he displaced in battle, was beyond him. As Gimli wrapped his arms around him, Legolas buried his face on the side of Gimli’s neck, among his beard and braids. The familiar smell never ceased to bring him comfort and push away errant thoughts of the sea. He wished he could have this comfort every night that the sea longing filled his heart with sorrow and kept him from rest, knowing that it would never fail to ground him to this land. As long as Gimli walked through Middle Earth, Legolas would never cross the sea.

“I missed you, it’s been too long,” Legolas said as they reluctantly parted.

“I came as soon as I could, although I wish I could have followed you as you parted from our last visit.”

“Come on inside then, your companion needs rest, and I want to hear all that I have missed from your life that you left out of your letters,” Legolas said, grabbing Gimli’s hand to guide him the rest of the way into the forest.

-

Gimli held a now cold bowl of soup, so entertained by their sharing of stories that he had barely remembered eating, and so would only take a couple spoons full every time Legolas started a story before something he said made Gimli want to interject and forget about his soup all over again. It was a shame, as he had found it a frankly passable soup. It was evident that Legolas had used the seasoning Gimli had gifted him the last time they met, instead of just his preferred forest herbs.

It was moments such as this that Gimli appreciated the most, when they could just enjoy each other’s presence away from prying eyes and talk without fear of being spied on. Although he was never exactly embarrassed by their demonstrations of affection, he was always more apprehensive when they were in public, not wanting to give off the wrong impression. As much as the gossips that behind his back said he was more than friend of the elves didn’t bother him, for he knew it was untrue and not precisely malicious, and he tried not to investigate why else he might accept their words with such ease, he feared such rumours might reach his friend’s ears and cause him discomfort.

Since Legolas had never given him any indication that he wished to pursue a different kind of relationship, those rumours might embarrass or even distress him, and the last thing Gimli wanted was for Legolas to change his behavior because he was afraid of what others might think. Not that Gimli had wondered about another kind of relationship, he was quick to shut down any thoughts that might start to travel in that direction as inappropriate.

He wondered if the elves made similar comments he wasn’t aware of, and if Legolas similarly kept them from him to protect him, but he doubted it. Elves were never the type to make their displeasure when it came to dwarves known, and if he were unwelcome there they would have surely found ways to make that clear.

“Is everything alright, mellon nin? Your mind seems miles away,” Legolas said when he took too long to reply to one of his comments.

Gimli tried remembering what he had asked before, to answer it now and dissuade him, but found that he couldn’t recall it, so perhaps Legolas was right. “I’m sorry, I must have been more tired from the road than I thought,” he said, hoping Legolas wouldn’t question him on it.

“Apologies, I should have realized you would want to rest,” he said, putting away their bowls. “We’ll have plenty of time to talk tomorrow, and then perhaps you can finish your story about that cave-in. I know no one was hurt, but I still want to know how you managed to perform this rescue.”

“As I told you in the letter, it was a simple matter of engineering,” he said, standing up to take off his armor.

Gimli would always disarm as soon as he arrived, as doing anything else would be implying he didn’t feel safe with his host, which was the last impression he would want to give, but he always hesitated for longer with his armor. A dwarf without at least some armor might as well be naked, and he wasn’t in the habit of walking around in little clothes. At the same time, Legolas never wore more than light leather armor, when they hugged, shared a ride or, when traveling, shared a bed roll, although in those occasions Legolas wouldn’t sleep, instead simply laying down to rest.

Because of this, Gimli would always pack light armor when he went to visit him. He wouldn’t feel as safe as he did in chainmail, but it would put Legolas at ease, so it was well worth it. He changed without excusing himself or asking for permission, as they had done many times before. Being traveling companions for a long journey, during their quest and for a while after it was done, had built a comfortable intimacy between them that didn’t require such pudors.

“I would hardly call that simple, if the drawing in your letter was any indication. Here, let me help,” he said, reaching to unclasp one of his armor’s leather straps. “How you can move in this much metal is a mystery to me.”

“I told you many times, dwarves are hardy.”

“If you were so hardy, you wouldn’t need so much armor. Now come to bed, I won’t have my guest exhausted after days of riding. And leave your leathers off, nothing will attack you while you sleep.”

Gimli grunted, but obeyed. He was in Legolas’ chambers after all, and one doesn’t dress among friends as he would among enemies. He noticed Legolas had placed a second bed roll at a respectable distance from his own. He still couldn’t understand what the elf had against beds, aside from perhaps some technical difficulties that could arise from trying to lift a bed up a tree, but that was what he got for his choice of dwelling.

Without being invited, a thought crept in that, had then been traveling together, they would have shared a bed roll, as they had many times in the past, instead of sleeping apart, but he shot that thought down. Sharing a bed during their travels was a necessity, not an indication of Legolas’ preferences. Besides, he had no business entertaining such thoughts of Legolas.

“I may keep my leathers just to keep warm, I’ll never understand what’s the use of building a shelter that is so exposed,” he complained to keep his mind off things.

Legolas looked around as one who considered the cold for the first time. Gimli wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case, with the ease that he could travel through snow in light clothes. He tried to remember if he ever saw Legolas cold, and couldn’t think of a single instance.

“Apologies, but I don’t have any more coverings. Perhaps we could join our bed rolls? This way I could help keep you warmer.”

Gimli blushed, grateful that his beard would hide it despite the eerily accurate elven vision. This was certainly not his intention, but he didn’t know how to refuse without seeming rude, and he didn’t want Legolas to feel embarrassed for having offered it. It was something they did often, after all, just not under these circumstances.

“I wouldn’t want to impose. Besides, let it never be said that a dwarf can’t handle the cold as well as an elf.” A neutral enough response, he hoped.

Legolas went for his own bed roll, laying down as he said, “If you change your mind, just drag yours over here, I sleep better with you anyway.” Then, as if realizing what he had said, he quickly turned to the other side, pulling the covers almost over his head.

That was more than Gimli could resist. Telling himself it was no different from what they had done dozens of times before, he pulled his bed roll next to Legolas and layed down, adjusting both covers over them both.

“Just don’t make me wake up staring at your open eyes, that always seems unnatural.”

Legolas turned and snuggled closer to him, placing his head on Gimli’s chest and an arm over his middle. Gimli froze for a fraction of a second, but he reasoned it was understandable Legolas would be more comfortable in his own home than he was on the road, so he placed an arm on Legolas back, hoping he wouldn’t snore too much. At least from this position he couldn’t see his eyes, as that was really something he could never get used to.

Although he feared he would tense at their proximity, Gimli found himself easily relaxing, and sleep was quick to take him.

-

Legolas woke up a little before the sun, but he felt better rested than he had in months, and was sure Gimli’s presence was responsible for this. He didn’t know what possessed him to hold Gimli so close as they shared a bed, but it had felt right, and Gimli had seemingly slept more peacefully in this way as well. He was glad he insisted that Gimli take off his armor, or that might not have been so comfortable, although he suspected he would also have preferred that to sleeping alone. Perhaps they should ignore all pretense and always share a bed when they could. It might not be proper, but neither of them was exactly an example of propriety, and if their friendship would always cause raised eyebrows, it was no reason for them to conform to their expectations.

As dusk spread through the room, he left the bed as quiet as he could, not wanting to disturb Gimli’s sleep. After his journey, he had every right to be tired, and with the time he had made, he couldn’t have rested much on the way.

Figuring he would be hungry when he woke up, Legolas went to pick them some breakfast. At least this way they could resume talking as soon as Gimli was up, and it gave Legolas something to do that wasn’t give in to the impulse of watching Gimli sleep. Something about the unguarded way he slept there, as opposed to when camping, was oddly endearing, but it would be odd even for Legolas to do something like this. For more than a minute or two.

He was grabbing some cheese and berries from the pantry when he heard a fragment of a conversation between passing elves, far enough away that he had trouble discerning their voices, but still close enough for him to be able to tell they were whispering and trying to be discrete.

“You know his attention will be only on his dwarven lover, not that this is necessarily a bad thing,” one of the voices said, and as much as he struggled he couldn’t recognize it.

“I had hoped we would finish the plans for the western passway before this, but I can’t say I’m not glad. He has been filled with so much longing I was afraid he would hear the call of the sea.” Again, he couldn’t place a name to the voice although it was familiar.

“Not while his dwarf lives he wouldn’t.”

Then the voices faded away as the elves walked further from his position. Legolas placed a hand on his chest, feeling his heart pounding. These elves, his friends and companions, somehow thought that he and Gimli… Surely he knew that a friendship between dwarves and elves these days was somewhat unusual, although that hadn’t always been the case, but a romance between their species was entirely unheard of.

He hoped they wouldn’t say anything where Gimli could hear, since it took him long enough to accept being called a friend of elves, and he would certainly take offense at the implication that he would be an elf’s lover. It was ridiculous, completely unthinkable.

Of course there was no other person with whom Legolas would rather spend his life, and he couldn’t even think of what he would do with himself when Gimli’s life reached an end. He doubted he would ever feel this way about anyone else, as only Gimli could keep his sea longing at bay. He was also more comfortable around Gimli than he was around anyone else, and could always sleep better next to him, as his smell and even hearing his breath gave him comfort. Being separated from him for months on end always caused Legolas distress, and the time they had together never seemed to be enough. He longed for Gimli’s touch and would find every excuse to touch him.

Legolas stared at the berries as if they caused him personal offense. He couldn’t be in love with Gimli, he would have known if he was. Surely love was the easiest emotion to recognize. Although yes, he would say he loved Gimli, they would give their lives for each other, he was sure of it, but being in love was different. Elves would fall in love early if at all and love forever, not fall in love so many centuries into his adult years. Well, Arwen had, but she was the exception, and she was of the half elves, which probably influenced that.

No, he couldn’t be in love. And even if he was, what of it? Certainly Gimli wasn’t in love with him, or he would have said something. His life was limited so he wouldn’t waste it not contemplating love if it was possible. No, Gimli had told him it was common for dwarves never to fall in love and instead dedicated themselves to a craft or a cause. It had to be the case with Gimli, who was far from being young. He was just giving himself impossible ideas, and setting himself up to damage their friendship, it was best to put these thoughts away.

He didn’t know how long it took him to get back to his chambers, still lost in thoughts, but when he did, Gimli was already dressed in his light armor. Legolas regretted not having been there to help him with it, and tried to find a way to justify this regret to himself.

“Were you foraging for food?” Gimli teased, not a hint of malice in his voice.

Legolas wondered what kissing him would feel like, since his beard tickled him when they hugged. He wondered what entangling his fingers on that hair and beard would feel like, brushing them with his fingers and then braiding them, he knew from their hugs that they were soft, but… He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry, I have been lost in thought.”

Gimli approached, worried. “What troubles you?” he asked, placing a hand on Legolas’ cheek.

He leaned against the touch, closing his eyes. Then he remembered himself and straightened his head. “Nothing, you would think it silly.”

“I would never think that anything that bothers you is silly,” he countered with the uttermost seriousness, and Legolas knew that he meant it.

Still, he shook his head. “It’s truly nothing, it’s fine.”

Gimli frowned. “If it’s something I’ve done…”

“Of course not,” Legolas rushed to assure him, and went to place his arms on his shoulders, but stopped midway, dropping them. “I’m sorry, I just got lost in my own thoughts, it will pass.”

“Is it the sea longing?” Gimli asked more urgently.

Legolas almost laughed, because nothing was further away from his mind now than leaving. “No, I would never cross the sea without you,” he said. Then, realizing his words, rushed to say, “Let’s eat, you must be famished,” before Gimli could say anything else.

-

Legolas had been acting strangely since morning, and Gimli couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him.

He wondered if he had done something improper during the night, such as whispering Legolas’ name. As much as he tried to avoid this direction of thought when he was awake, he wasn’t always successful in doing the same when he slept, and his dreams had been almost, but not entirely chaste. He simply couldn’t help but wonder what kissing Legolas would be like. But when he tried to ask if it was his fault, Legolas quickly changed the subject, and then refused to continue on that line.

They had talke almost normally since then, but he could still see a tension on Legolas that wasn’t there before. Something had clearly happened and Gimli couldn’t understand why he refused to share it with him, when they had always shared so much before. It seemed as if there wasn’t a problem in their lives that didn’t make it to their letters or their conversations on their rare visits.

So now that Legolas refused to talk to him, Gimli couldn’t help but think it was his fault. Perhaps he had been too forward with the feelings he tried to hide and that had made Legolas uncomfortable, but he wouldn’t want to say anything for fear of making things even more awkward.

As it was, Gimli feared this spectrum would keep between them for his entire visit, and nothing seemed worse than making Legolas uncomfortable for a fortnight or even longer, as they hadn’t established an exact end date.

Above all else, one thing that Legolas said stood out. He said he wouldn’t cross over without Gimli, which couldn’t have been what he meant. After all, only elves and the ring bearers were allowed to cross the sea, and he was neither, so by saying that Legolas would be effectively claiming he would stay in Middle Earth and fade, which was far from the destiny he hoped for his friend. He must have meant he would only cross the sea after Gimli’s own passing, which would make more sense.

Perhaps this was what had him so worried then. Some reminder of Gimli’s mortality, and the time he had left must have seemed short to Legolas. It would explain his discomfort, as well as his comment about the sea and his insistence that it was nothing of substance, after all, that Gimli was mortal and would die sooner than he would was a given.

Yes, Gimli was sure that was the case, now he just had to find a good moment to confront Legolas about it, and assure him that his mortality was simply a fact of life.

-

The whole day, the conversation he overheard played back in his mind. It didn’t matter how much he struggled to keep these thoughts away, once awakened they seemed to beg to be acknowledged.

It was hopeless, he would only be setting himself up for heartbreak, and hurting Gimli’s feelings in the process, by betraying their friendship. He couldn’t dare saying anything, but being silent seemed just as impossible, and he felt at loss.

It took him telling Gimli on a whim about his unwillingness to go to the west for him to realize how much that was true. The sea would always call to him, but something else tugged at him in the direction of Middle Earth. Gimli was his anchor, keeping him from going adrift from longing, but what he wished out of him was impossible. If there was never a romance between a dwarf and an elf then a happy ending would be hard to even imagine. Their souls had different destinies, but he found himself unwilling to follow his if it was to be alone.

This realization loomed over him as a dark cloud, and it was obvious Gimli knew that something was wrong with him, but he couldn’t explain. There was no way to explain that didn’t mean baring his feelings, and he wasn’t sure if anything good could come of that.

It was a cruel fate, to be granted an impossible love, and yet he couldn’t even wish that hadn’t been the case. Once he knew what was in his heart, he could try to deny it, but never wish that it wasn’t there, as much pain as that might cause him. If this was his fate then he would follow to the bitter end, but he wouldn’t go to the undying lands alone.

-

The moment Gimli was waiting for came sooner than he expected, that night as they watched the stars from a clearing in the woods.

The calm, relaxed atmosphere seemed ideal for a gentle confrontation of well founded, but not necessarily reasonable fears.

“If it isn’t too much prying, I would like to ask you about what you said before, about sailing to the west,” Gimli asked, hoping it was in a harmless enough way.

Legolas sighed. “I apologize for my presumption, but I spoke the truth, albeit impulsively. As much as I can still feel the sea calling for me, I wouldn’t want to leave unless it was with you, if you were willing to join me in this adventure. I don’t mean now, of course, but hopefully many decades in the future, when you feel your time is near the end,” he spoke in a slow, tense tone, as if he had thought a lot about what he wanted to say, but still feared Gimli’s reaction.

This took him by surprise, and forced him to reevaluate everything he thought he had understood about Legolas’ uneasiness during that day. And yet, there was still only one answer possible.

“Of course I would be willing, but I’m afraid it wouldn’t be possible, I’ve never heard of Mahal making an exception for dwarves.”

“I would take you with me, and I know in my heart the Valar would grant us passage for the same reason they allowed Lúthien and Arwen to choose the fate of men.”

It was as if he was watching thousands of jewels slowly falling into place, until together they formed the most beautiful and most precious mosaic. Despite all he had not dared to hope and at times misinterpreted in the past, this was a message he couldn’t deny.

“I would be honored then, to accompany the one who holds my heart, and offer our bond for judgment,” he said, holding out his hand for Legolas.

Instead, Legolas grabbed his face with both his hands. “I would very much like to kiss you now,” he said.

Gimli couldn’t find his voice to answer, so instead he just nodded, and closed his eyes.

Gimli had expected him to be soft and tentative, but instead he was eager, dearly dropping Gimli backwards. He had to place his hand behind his back to brace himself, and placed his free arm on Legolas’ back, pulling him closer. It was a perfect moment, more than he could have ever hoped, even in his wildest dreams. All he wanted now was to hold Legolas in his arms and never let him go, even if he knew it wasn’t possible.

When they parted, Legolas had somehow managed to undo most of one of Gimli’s braids, but his own hair was still perfectly in place. He had never looked more beautiful.

“I can’t believe how long it took to realize how much I love you,” he finally said.

“If I had known there was any hope, I would have said something sooner, but I never allowed myself to think about the possibility,” Gimli confessed.

“Then we are both fools, for wasting our own time. I can’t believe other people realized this before I did.”

Gimli figured that someone must have told Legolas something, and this must have caused him to look so pensive the whole day, but he found he didn’t care to ask for details now. Perhaps there would be a time to satisfy his curiosity later, but at that moment all he would think about was making the best of the time they had, and luckily he still had most of his visit for this.


End file.
